Thursday, June 28, 2007

Fux News the rundown!

I had a huge week thanks to my investigative ability and dumb luck in finding Greg Odens dad. A couple of people shouted me out either directly or indirectly, see for yourself here, here and here. I want to thank them all for the linkage, no chorizo. Lets take a look at what's bubbling around the internets.

Chris Benoit merked himself as well as his family this week, nothing funny about that; Roid Rage might have been the culprit(wtf). Anyways their is something that is rarely brought up and that is how many wrestlers die at a relatively young age and of heart failure(yes roids)check here . But Vince McMahon now that dude is hilarious, I never know if he is being serious or not but dude seems to be on something, yes that kush. Check here I dont ever watch wrestling now days, but growing up it was a big part of my life and something tells me that the WWE is slowing dieing.

More Kim K booty pictures damn the more I try to ignore her ass the more her ass shows up. indirect link by Fresh

Kanyeezy decided to drop off his new video "Stronger" and I dont know what to think the video looks dope but the song hasnt grown on me at all, No Chia Pet...The song is pretty mediocre

The BET Awards was on the other night, I caught a total of about 20 minutes between switching back and forth on the channels and nothing caught my eye besides Lauren London and PE's performance. You can watch the performances here and who ever told fatass Monique that she was funny needs their humor pass revoked. I have ran across many a funny and gregarious/charming fat chick and Monique is not one of them. Tell her to staple her underarm flaps. Also Keisha Cole and Rhianna can definitely get it. Reggie Bush has dropped the #1 brother-dicker-picker-upper Kim K and is living the single life, good for him.

This Picture is so f'ing hilarious, dude does look mad midgety. No Homo

Word Peace to Icon for this. I was planning on going to Six Flags and get my White People on and ride some rollercoasters. F that once I saw this I had a change of heart. Yes Jaceon Taylor and Hootie
The NBA Draft is tonight and I have been reading rumors all week. I hope the Suns get KG without having to give up Amare and give up the Matrix with some sort of combination. Oden and Durant are going 1 and 2 thats a given, everything else is up in there. I will be tuning in. Here is a funny mock draft by the Sports guy and insider Chad Ford.

This woman decided to give her child 25 middle names all boxing greats. Wow, I wonder if the lady is black not that there is anything wrong with that. Grab a Newport.

Big Victory last night by the TRI over Brazil. I was hyped lets hope that the TRI dont lie an egg against Ecuador and continue to play well throughout the tournament and not let down the fans. Who am I kidding Mexico will disappoint they always do.

Yo My boy HG over at Youbeenblinded posted some clips of Guys and dolls, ish is off the hook. He has a clip of some kid who took his Cabbage Patch doll to a baseball game, Come On now! We all know what happened to that kid; yes homo.

Thats it for today. I may have missed some ish, So what. Keep it Classy folks, 1 hundred!

Monday, June 25, 2007

F You!

Ed Norton is probably my favorite actor and this scene is a personal favorite of mine. Not unlike many a Spike Lee movies when he does something similar in them, this one is just better because of Ed Norton. Big up to Bol who mentioned it on his review of TI vs T.I.P. 1 hundred

I found Greg Oden's Dad!

I found Greg Odens Dad and it took me all of 11 minutes. As I was watching some draft special I thought Where the Fock is Oden's dad. I then realized Greg's Dad was right across the street and his name is Uncle Lange, a nice man gentle man(remind you of someone) who has succumbed to Alcohol abuse and lost contact with his only son because of it; I am assuming this and its not quite fact. I asked him yesterday if he had heard about his son and his upcoming big day and Uncle Lange was only able to muster an aghhhhhh, I dont have a son I left to Vietnam when I was 18 and I never knew about any son. So I told him I would do my darndest to bring them back together and he told me again that he didnt have a son and left only after I gave him a Bud Light. I want you to tell me that Uncle Lange isnt Oden's father look at the pics below; let me add that Uncle Lange is about 6'8. By the way everytime my daughter sees him she waves and says Hi Uncle Lange, she is probably the only little kid on the block unafraid of his stature and ravishing good looks.

This Move is uncanny at a similar move that Uncle Lange does, that type of rhythm has to be in the genes.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

iCandy of the week, Lauren London!

I wanted to break ya'll off early this week with Turtle's New Love interest Lauren London aka New New. She is lovely and special repping for SoCal hard, I see her on the come up this year and she is probably close to taking that next step towards stardom and Hollywierd recognition. Because please believe she is known in around my parts(yes masturbation) and if you didnt know her like that, play like a certain caucasion DJ and get familiar. Also she came up as a video girl, so a big shoutout to hoes getting naked to get far. Per her Wiki she dated Neefy of the Young Gunz then dumped dude, Neef who by the way isnt doing sh!t right now and got his career ethered by Money Mike. Shout out To Mac Brown, I see you.

Lauren (ya I am on a first name basis with her) comes out in this Pharrell Video and I remember seeing the video and officially crowning her Mrs.iFux.

How To Pass a Breathalizer by Omar.

This story was told and sent to me by my Boy Omar and I am all for helping out a fellow man in a time of need. So I co-sign everything Omar did to avoid being locked up and I will reiterate my stance Fock The Police!

How to beat a DUI!!! Yo Im bout to let the hood know how to beat a DUI.
Friday night I hit up the club and I have 3 beers, 3 shots of DJ (Don Julio
Bitches) and a rum and coke and some bitch ass kamikazee. So on my way home
the bitch ass babylon pulls me over. I get out the jeep and this muthafucka
ask me for my license (Ur boy ain't got a license) so I hand the bitch ass
jake my passport he is like what is this I say this is my identification I
lost my license a while back (I told that bitch I went to the dmv for a new
one yesterday lol). Anyways this bitch ass cop is giving me a test and I
think im going to the slammer. After all the test I take he ask me to do
the infamous 4 and you know what I tell him I told that bitch I have bad
ankles I don't think I can pass that test. So he tells me if I want to take
the breath a test I said I don't think I want to take it jake and he tells
me then im going to have to arrest you (In my mind my new name is pac man
jones). Aight so im like fuckit give me the damn test bitch. So this is
the key fellas when im bout to take the test and blow in the contraption I
start huffing out hot air. Muthafucka is telling me to blow harder so I
huff a little bit harder I do it one more time and he tells me my blood
alcohol level is at a 0.05 and that I could leave. I ask the bitch if I
scored high on my test and he said I had failed. So I hop in the whip and
head to super sergios to celebrate. Next time you drink and drive and get
pulled over huff and don't blow and you will be aight.

Follow these easy steps and you may also save forrest fires errrrr you're ass from getting locked up and anally raped, No Bernard Hopkins!
1 Hundred.


Ya'll 80's babies know WTF I am talking about, the 16-time World Champion Nature Boy Ric Flair. I say along with Shawn Michaels, Rick Flair was my boyhood wrestling Idol and one of the reasons I still put chicks in the figure four leg-lock. He is 58 years old and I dont know if he is still doing the damn thing but I wouldnt put it past him to still be Wrestling since most of these dudes stay around for hundreds of years, Ya I See you HGH. I just wanted to shout him out and give him love as one of the Greatest Interviews and Entertainers of my Generation. I also have took to saying Woooo at random times and that ish never gets old. I would also like to add that TI and Kanye straight swagger jacked Ric Flairs entrance for their Shoulder Lean and Jesus Walk Dances. Here are some Clips, Feel free to drop your own Wrestling Stories in the Comments.


Just like most rappers Ric Flair doesnt have time for the haters.

I guess there is crying in Wrestling.

Also Thanks To my Boy D.Bills over at DuePayer who put me onto this Ruste Juxx track Vic Flair which samples Ric's signature Woooo!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Hip Hop Video of the Day!

I had to post this video because the song goes hard *pause* no homo. So far so good for the Finding Forever tracks that have leaked all have smashed and sounds like Common may get close to "Be"'s dopeness and cohesiveness. Good Looking X-Facta who posted the tracks that have leaked. I like Common alot as an artist and I am probably one of the few who didnt jump ship when the Electric Circus album dropped, I actually copped it and liked it. Common is one of the few dope Mc's left from the mid 90's golden era of hip-hop still doing it. Cop his album when it comes out, 1 hundred!

PS if anyone has the track- *69(ps with love) produced by JDilla which is off the Electric Circus album slang it my way, I would greatly appreciate it.

Here is the track.....Big up EGC

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

iCandy of the week, Haifa Wehbe!

This Past Week I got a ton of requests for possible iCandy Hall of Fame inductions i.e. all of the Saved By The Bell chicks Lisa Turtle, Kelly Kapowski and Jesse Spanos and The Wonder Years Winnie Cooper but I decided to hit you off with Haifa Wehbe a Lebanese pop singer. She is one lovely bird and therefore this weeks iCandy..... I might induct the aforementioned chicks in the future because lord knows I did rub one out to all of them and sometimes I menaged too them but today I decided to hit you with something nice and something foreign, 1.... Catch Haifa Wehbe falling on stage here, she is a trooper and a looker

Monday, June 18, 2007

Fux News the rundown!

I want to give a big shout-out to the homie Omar when off that Herk and Jerk Friday night he told me I needed to step my blog game up and I just told him I'm a Hustler not a Blogger. He also told me I was losing readers, like he has some inside info that I dont know about. Omar hit me off with something and I will post it here. I had a long Weekend and yesterday being Father's Day I drank a ridiculous amount of Beer one good thing came out of it, the Boys and I came up with a reggeaton hook:

Llenalo otra Vez
Fill it up Agane

We proceeded to repeat this over and over throughout the night, not really exciting stuff but since most of us were drunk we found it hilarious. As well as Felipe saying that Native Americans as far as all races advancing, somehow have accomplished the least overall. I can go deeper into his breakdown of why he feels this way but the jist of it was Native Americans got punked by the Whites and never recovered. Felipe aka Thoorree has a wide variety of views on everything and he is like our very own Stephen Colbert with a hood perspective on all things(he always has that dank I have heard,I myself dont partake). He seemed to get a ridiculously good look at my penis (no homo) long story but I ended up skinny dipping Saturday Night, I know WTF. Well it was a good Weekend went to the DelMar Fair Friday afternoon had some Rattlesnake(taste like chicken for real) and Beer and I also won on those impossible Basketball courts with over inflated balls and super small rims. I banged my first shot got the #1 a big ass teddy bear and kept it moving. Lets take a look at what's Happening:

Seems this Iranian Soap Star is about to get lashed and prolly stoned to death for banging on video. See it here (thanks to Nation)

Seems like Bol got himself into all kinds of ish last week, I guess people dont understand dudes humor and get their thongs in a bunch when he drops his weekly "I dont he should have said that" post.

Go over to Gringo's and vote for you're favorite Talib Kweli album, by the way my favorite is Quality 3 or 4 tracks with Bilal was the difference maker for me, no Stan..

So the chick who used to Cut herself on the Real World San Diego died, no she didnt cut herself to death she had some disease. But the long running joke with my boys was whenever one of us would do something suspect somebody would say " Its cuz so and so is a cutter thats why" Omar was particularly fond of pulling out the Cutter card i.e. I didnt go over his house to watch the game and he told my boys I didnt make it over cuz I'm a cutter, I know WTF .....Also the small world that it is one of my boys knows the dude Adam that used to bang Frankie the Cutter while she was filming Real World San Diego, RIP Frankie the Cutter.

Stack Bundles got merked.

DP has that Crazy ish to get you crunked up*hip hop beat plays*, Beautiful Fathers Day Story.....I also made sure I gave a Fathers Day hug to all my Boys Moms who raised their sons without a father in the home. Strong women who played the dual role of loving Mother and Father .....and a nice shout out from Greenie BeyBe

Ok the always dependable says that Richard Jefferson is engaged to a former Net Cheerleader and thus subsequently squashing rumors that he is indeed gay. I myself have seen him around Downtown Diego and he always has bitches with him but you and I know very well that Gay dudes rock with Groups of chicks thats how they roll. No Steve and Cuttino ......also look here mad suspect....

I hate Dick Vitale but here are some commercials of him hyping Adidas(courtesy of hg), by the way they lose for having that old fart endorsing their kicks....

White Girl Remix courtesy of Nahright via OnSmash

My Scraper Bike cruising on my Scraper Bike(M.Dot with the clip) by the way SouthEast's own Mitchy Slick is set to release an album this month go cop that ish at FamBam or you're local Mom and Pop shop,support local artists doing it
Here repping hard filmed right down the street from the crib.

Also I guess this dude Collie Buddz is blowing up 'round these parts and my boys wanted me to post this video, he is a whiteboy singing Reggae dope track though

On that Note, 1 hundred!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

iCandy Hall of Fame!

I am inducting Topanga into the iCandy Hall of Fame today. This is on the jist that Boy Meets World ran through out my pre-teen and college years and I wacked off to her atleast 132 times and watched the show regularly . I dont get the same feeling about her now that I did then, I actually hear Devin the Dudes "She Used to be" playing in the back of my mind. But she served a purpose for me and I would guess anyone in the age group of 22 to 28 also did their thing to her while she played their Muse. Well, I say she lost the minute she dated Lance Bass, her gaydar is def not Kung Fu! Congrats on the Induction Topanga...........1

Monday, June 11, 2007

I'm Kung Fu with my sh!t.

Let me first explain being Kung Fu with my sh!t. Kung Fu is a metaphor for being extraordinary or good at something i.e. achieving black belt. For Instance my beer drinking is Kung Fu right about now. I want to take credit for this little phrase and I really think I made it up, in using it as a verb up but who knows. So last night while watching the Spurs-Cavs game I drop Tony Parker in the lane game is Kung Fu. My Boys all start laughing and it sets off a chain of comments that didnt end till after the so-called game. Now I want to share with you some of the ridiculousness that my boys dropped yesterday no credit necessary as they know who said what.
I officially achieved Kung-Fu in pussy eating, last week....
I am Mr.Miyagi at Jenga.....
Fabe Dogg is the Chuck Norris of lying to the bitches. (Fabe wasnt present at the time to confirm)...
Fabe Dogg's Harlem Shake is Kung Fu.....
Kim K's pussy has gotten Kung Fu'd numerous times by brotha's, Kieth You're next; rep that southeast nigga....
By the end of Next Week I will be officially crowned the Grand Grasshoper of smoking weed.....
My D!ck is built for Kung-Fu when hard it can do the Dim Mak on the chocha! No Homo but this clip is bonkers....
I am the Chuck Norris of Monopoly, Give Me the green joints and the wheelbarrow and I will dominate....

out of lf: Samoans are so big cuz they ate all the Dinosaurs.
I bet pterodactyl was a delicacy.
Pound for Pound Midgets are the strongest living thing next to ants. Nah you're wrong a retarded migdet is stronger....
I am going to have offspring with a 7ft Chinese woman and a fat Samoan along with a buff midget. So I can have sons who are the next Yao Ming, Junior Seau and Rey Mesterio Jr.

On that note I am out! if these comments may have offended you; all I say is if you dont like it dont read it. Ya its Kung Fu snitches

Side Note: I Fancy myself a purveyor in all things Bitches. So last weeks poll shows in overwhelming fashion that the best female trait is the Culo recieving over 70% of the votes. Being the great pussy purveyor and I do enjoy a nice ass, I still voted for smile without a nice smile a girl doesnt have a chance imo. 1 Hundred

Money Shot of the Day!

Courtesy of my boy Belize!

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Fock the Police!

So Last Night I decided to kick off my Birthday weekend by inviting a few of my boys over for some beers. I had decided not to do much since I knew I had to go to the office the next morning. Well everything was cool my cousin and a couple of boys came over, we were chilling in the front yard music playing, drinking and just talking ish. Then Southeast's finest decide to show up and interrupt our good time. First it was a black cop he starts asking ?'s and for ID's, one of the cats who is drinking is only 20 so the cop then Calls for back up but no big deal the cop was actually cool. Back up arrives and its a different story, dude is like a 50 year old whiteman with a stick stuck up his ass(no homo) and this Jake starts demanding sh!t, who's car is it and to turn off the music. It was my car and I tell him I will turn off the music, this is where sh!t turns to the worse. Apparently I was taking to long to turn off the music(I am somewhat drunk at the time), I dont know if both cops pull out their guns or not but I can hear their yelling for me to get the Fock out of the car. Well I finally get out of the car and I am slammed into the ground(word was the old white cop was going to Taze me) hitting my head( I think I got a minor concussion)and subsequently cuffed. The cop puts me in his car and gives me two options either go to Detox or being placed under arrest for disorderly conduct, I choose the former. The cop is trying to have a conversation with me on the way to downtown, I am just ignoring him and he finally asks what is the problem and I say my fockin head hurts cant you see what you did to me. He had the gall to say you are lucky I didnt taze you. Anyways I get dropped off at Detox and then told that if I created any problems I would be put in jail. Its around 2am when I get there so around 6am I am released. I get home and finally get around to seeing myself in a Mirror and my forehead is focked. I take a shower get in my car and head to work. Someone said I should press charges and I was like for what, the police threw me on the ground this type of ish happens er'ryday. Ya its my birthday this weekend great start!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Serena Williams!

I jacked this from Illseed, Serena getting busy on some French TV show. I have always liked Serena but she seems to be getting buffer and buffer which is a no go in my book. She still looks good though and I hope she wins the French Open.
1 ......... I would definetly bury my face in her chocha for a day straight or until I tore my ACL.

Check Gringo For more Tennis News and his recent poll on who is the flyest chick in the game.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

iFuxTunes, whats banging in the whip!

This is some music that is currently heavy in my rotation and are in my top 25 most played at the moment. I just upped the newest tracks, as my Top25 always has music that has nothing to do with hip-hop and or just classic hip-hop tracks that most fans should know about. But I wanted to up the new stuff just in case people are still claiming hip-hop is dead which naturally it isnt. Radio on the other hand is dead though, I havent listened to a hip-hop based station in a while, well I did when I was in Hawaii and their playlist went something like this: Buy you a Drink, I'm a Flirt, Beautiful Girls, This is why I'm hot, mixed in with a few others and repeated hour after hour which I am assuming is every radio station these days, the sh!t is Disgusting. So here is my list of whats currently banging in my ride.

Talib Kweli - Hot Thing
....This song bangs hard its off the new album "Ear Drum" which has some other bangers on there check for it.

R.Kelly - Real Talk .... This is just a beast of a song for the insecure and jealous ladies out there

Bilal feat Sa-Ra - Hollywood .......Ya my Bilal Stanism comes out but this song bangs

UGK feat OutKast - International Players ... This song has been out for a while but it stays in my top25 because the song bangs and it is good hip-hop i.e. beat and lyrics

Pharoahe Monche - Push ...... My Favorite track on the album "Desire" the song takes a minute to take off but its def dope

Lupe Fiasco - Cold Blooded ........ This sort of has a westcoast feel to it

Kanye West - Us Placers ...... Song with Super Group Pharrell,Lupe and Kanye 'nuff said

And the Best of the rest:
Consequence - Job Song
Fabolous feat Ne-Yo - You Make Me Better
Common - Misunderstood
Calle 13 - La Fokin Moda
Black Milk - Uz a Freak Bitch
Robin Thicke feat Lil Wayne - All Night Long
Sa-Ra - And If

Monday, June 04, 2007

Money Shot of the Day!

Check out this pic of Kim K's booty courtesy of TMZ and probably the reason she attracts so many black men but damn I am attracted to that as a assume most men should be. Reggie Bush quick advise handle you're biz with this chick and then carry on with you're life. Here is a picture just in case you need a reminder of Kim's kindness and ability to share her assets, homie.

this pic courtesy of ahotmess.

Fabe Dogg and Slater BFF!

Story as told to IFux by Fabe Dogg:

So it was like the summer of '02 and I am going to 24hour fitness after work like usual. I get to the gym and get ready to play a little basketball before I lift some weights. As I was getting ready, some guy calls me to see if I wanted to run with his team and I was like sure. I then noticed that it was Mario Lopez aka Slater and dude is only like 5'5 and he is prettier in real life(ed:note no homo naturally). Anyways we get to hooping and the whole time I am calling him Slater and he doesnt seem to mind. But Slater was on a roll it probably helped that nobody was trying to D him up at the risk of fOcking up his pretty face, dude was hitting lay-ups and jumpers at will. He was like Pass me the ball I am hot whenever I would get my hands on the rock and I was like ok here you go Slater. We ended up winning a couple of games and when we left the court his girl was waiting outside, the Doritos chick and she was the hottest girl I had ever seen. Anyways that was my story on playing some ball with Slater.
Fabe Dogg told me this story the other day as we where having dinner and drinking beers at the local Mariscos spot and at the time I found it to be one of the funniest Fabe Dogg stories ever. I say one of because Fabe Dogg is known amongst my circle of friends to have some of the wildest most outlandish sh!t happening to him but its deserved as he is the only one who puts himself in those predicaments, nobody else. I may have to share a few more stories on my good friend Fabe Dogg in the future; Like that time when we went Puerto Rico, or that time he tried Viagra, or that time he gave Both His Girlfriends the same exact Valentines day card and gift so he could remember exactly what he gave each......I can go on forever, till next time 1 ..........

Ohh a Big thank you to Patti Leiva for the love!

Saturday, June 02, 2007

iCandy of the week, Jenny Chu!

Jenny Chu 02

Being in Hawaii last weekend I saw many a Tokyo Diamond and actually got drunk with a couple of fine pieces of Asian Sushi. So this week I give iCandy love to the Asian Persuassion Jenny Chu...boing joing oing oing(c)Young Dro...