Saturday, December 22, 2007
Yo already know what it is, my last post here at blogspot. Dont even worry people, Im still going to do this blogging thing, but on a bigger scale over at Alumnah.com. So for my readers head over there and holler at the kid. Im going to milk this writing thing till the titty runs dry. Big Up everybody for reading this blicka'. Make sure you visit me from time to time, drop a comment. I do this for my people and haters thought I fell off. Nah homie's its just gettng started, Im going to find forever for real.
My Blog is worth 15k, so if you wanna cop it on the low, let a dude know.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
The Greatest Kung Fu fighting sequence ever! The Yoga dude might have been the inspiration for Dhalsim on Street Fighter 2(Ken is that dude) he gets busy with the contortion. If he was a bitch I would hit it just so I can say I did. Homie is mad phenomenal with it, have you ever seen anything like this fucker. I bet he can take on like 5 Hulksters, 2 Herculian Midgets, 1 Cobra and the Elephants that came running from his level on Street Fighter 2( I see you cheat coding mothafucka's). Enough Rambling on my part, grab a beer set back and enjoy! Big up the Homie pockets!
If Rape is inevitable you should just sit back and enjoy it(c) the Abominable Bobby Knight
Yo My Ghost stan status runs supremely deep. I had to post this, Ghost being Ghost. Pick up the Big Doe Rehab, also Pick up the book World Accordding to Pretty Toney. Big Up Miss Info and Eskay for the clip.
Monday, November 26, 2007
I am glad to be back up in this bitch! As always I would like to big up Nathan and mostly because he respects my E-Gansta and Diddybop.
I would like to put up my Darr up against anyone my Darr is mad reputable. By Dar I mean gay-darr , Tranny-darr, gangster-darr, I can spot any of which anywhere like a white cop spots minorities, *grips up taser*.
I was at the Zoo the other day (what bitch I got my membership game up) and it was read that bears sleep 20 hours a day. I think besides the obvious which is that bears need to get their work ethic up, that polar bears enjoy Coca-Cola. *queues music* The more you know.....
Speaking of the Zoo(my favorite place this side of the Amazon and whorehouses) I saw mad amounts of Meer-Cats them fuckers have an incredible DiddyBop .
The Hulkster is getting a divorce, So sad. Hurt me inside to find out that his wife was divorcing him because he is the Hulkster 24/7 and can never just be Terry. Why do you want Terry when you have the Hulkster, Brother!
*Fuxie grabs Brook Hogans ass reaches around to make sure there is no balls* Touche' !
*takes writing break, reads the World According to Pretty Toney*
OK I'm Back
So there is some kind of strike with writers, I heard. Well if you find my writing enjoyable or at the very least funny holler at me. I have no problem what so ever scabbing it up. Is Scabbing even a word. Well I don't fucking care Ima' scab it up if I can.
I haven't mentioned Superhead in like forever it seems. So I wanted to say the other day I watched a p0rn(on my ipod) with her in it where she completely and thoroughly handled Mr.Marcus. What a performance, pro and true to the art of dick sucking. She most be a connoisseur or something. *stands up and claps* Like My Homie Crazy from Alumnah.com said "Superhead is the Blowprint"
Somebody intimated to me that I talk too much about sex here, well who cares I might as well talk about it if I ain't getting it. Word to getting dumped by a lovely girl because she found my "Blog" and read it. I just write to write nothing is ever that serious here. Well maybe that one time I mentioned my dick's name "fuerte" I do actually call him that. So what do I do the minute I find out this chick wont return my only call which went something like this "Its Fuxie call me back" , I went out with a chick and fucked her and I put some effort behind it this time. *wipes himself down*
I went to the Charger game with the homies (See Fabe dogg Brian Giles and I here) , We drunk it up and had a generally good time. I was the one yelling "Lets Get All up In Boller's Ass". Anyways, some drunk ass dude after the game caught something very similar to this to his chin and was out cold, it was quite enjoyable live action I might add. This Good Samaritan type then comes up to me and asks "Hey what did the guy that hit him look like" He must have gotten my drunk ass confused so I was like "What the fuck do you care what he looked like are you the fucking police, keep it moving bitch!". Then I realized, that I at times am mad ignorant and not very friendly. What you don't know cant hurt you(c) Mario Winans. No Snitching!
Mediatakeout.com those dudes over there I kind of cool. They just don't give a fuck about libel or something. I fux with them heavy for all my gossip.
So this dude got arrested for "simulating sex with his bike" (click here for story). Yo this is wild like what did he say to the bike "OK baby we are at 2 speed and I am going to jump up to 10 or is that too much too fast, OK OK I will up it a little first, you ready, breathe easy,ohhhhh your torque and braking is sooooo good right now ugggggghhhh I am coming I am coming". The bike lost inevitably that's for sure, somebody needs to adopt that bike and place it in a good home. Take it out for some rides in the park and WD-40 it up treat that bike how it likes to be treated, which is a bike not some sex object. WD-40 is the grown up version of "Put some Tussin on it". WD-40 it up(c) Fuxie I made that ish up up by the way. Big Up E-Rep for the article.
So I fancy Myself a quasi-typing comedian. And since every comedian has a "shit joke" here is mine. I went to a friends and used their restroom took off the top of the toilet where it has the pump and lever and took a shit there. Upper Deckered them Up. Done and hold the applause please.
I am going to take this moment and shout out the most ignorant rapper out, No disrespect. That Dude has to be Uncle Murder. I am at a loss of words, really though. This dude says the dumbest most ignorant shit, google him for real though. Word to Bullet, Bullet!
That's why I am Fuxie, cuz I goes extraordinarily hard where some dudes wont. Just like some dudes crip and some dudes blood and some dudes wont. I am going to continue to go impeccably hard at all times no need to slow down ever. Hard is Hard and the only thing soft is my leather, Word to the homie Chea! Till next time, 1 hundred Holmes!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Nice and Smooth's Hip-Hop Junkies...Whats up with the kiss of the fists at the beginning, extra [||]. Arm Leg Leg Arm Head, I guess. Anyways I love this song and it goes impeccably hard.
Yo Peops I was going to continue the adventure's with Fabe Dogg story but I am going to fallback. I was awaiting some photos from some friends I made and they havent forwarded those Blicka's yet. But I might write up a different adventure story soon. You Can also Visit Hiphopremix.com I went hard over there this week, I left evidence all over their walls. Put Dexter On the horn to check the splatter. Also A......com(still top secret) is Coming soon and you know I am about to go on in over there.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
This is the Homie Tony aka Big Pun, the uncanny likeness was caught early when Tony was in 7th grade and dude has been called Pun by the homies and I ever since. I actually didnt know him then since I am a few years older and only met him 4 or so years ago but when I was first introduced to him it was as Pun. These pics were of him a few weeks ago at the local Pizzeria where your able to catch your boy Fuxie there 2 to 3 times a week. This particular day it was his birthday and the Homie Fabe Dogg and I got there early and chilled at the bar waiting for Pun and Flipper to celebrate his 22nd birthday with a few brews. While waiting there these 2 skeezoids sat next to Fabe and I and started making light convo. We drank for an hour or so before Pun and Flipper arrived. One of the chicks not the one pictured let me know that if either one of us wanted to fuck that we could fuck the chick in the picture that night. I was like I'm cool and Fabe said the same, I was actually trying to get head from the chick not pictured. When I was touching the Subject Pun and Flipper arrived ready to play(our term for drinking *clap clap clap salute*). Ya, sure Enough being the selfless person that I am and it being Pun's birthday and all I swung the skeezoid in the pic his way, Next thing you know they are drinking together and whatnot. Well to not make the story long Fabe and I bounced, While Flipper and Pun left with the chicks. Story goes that the chick in the Pic was Coked out of her mind and the other chick(the one I wanted head from) went over to Pun's House. He smashed and Flipper got head. Good Birthday Gift I say!
Friday, November 02, 2007
I remember when I bought the Bobby Digital album and I heard this song, I was like whewwww this song goes impeccably hard. I have never really felt like this towards any woman but I am pretty sure many a girl has felt like this directed at me. The honesty in which Rza spits makes this song so dope. I dont know what made me think of this song, possibly because I am going to drop the girl I have been seeing for the past three months. In no way do I feel like this about her but I know I am better off dropping her before she gets too close. I never actually committed to her as far as asking her to be my girl, but I guess she feels that way. So time to move on, I am not ready for a relationship yet. I recommend if any of ya'll were in a long term relationship and then you break up, to take your time to get to know all types of people. I am pretty sure everybody knows that, but its difficult to stop seeing someone when you gain a certain level of affection for them(the pussy), whether you just came out of a relationship or not. So I am crowning myself single again for the upteenth time this year. Not that anything ever stopped me, because bitches aint shit(c) RZA.
Monday, October 29, 2007
I spent a whole week of vacation in City Guzman, a little town outside of Guadalajara where my mother is from. I basically went to visit Family and Fabe Dogg tagged along. We actually were suppossed to make a day trip over to Vallarta and Guadalajara but we didnt make it do to the incredible time we were having in the October Senor San Jose Fiestas in Guzman. This Fiesta is known through out Jalisco as being a month full of Chariadas, Concerts of Mexican Singers, Rodeo's and just an all out month to drink it up. I thought for awhile that we might not have the greatest of times, but I should have known better Fabe Dogg and I together is like Rum&Coke, PB& J, Itchy and Scratchy, Mike and Scottie, Bush and Cheney, Mike Vick and his pits[||]. Actually Fabe Dogg at the airport on the way home in a deep introspective thought he shared to me "I thought after a week of being with you non-stop eating, sleeping and partying together, I would be sick of you but honestly I can do this with you right now for a whole nother month, you're my brotha from anotha" I replied in my Homophobic way "No Homo but ya Me too homie".
Our flight took off early Thursday morning. I was amped actually the night before Fabe his Girlfriend and I went over to Uno's to have a few parting drinks with the Homies, cuz my boy JoJo was leaving back to the PR and I hadnt seen him while I was in town. We caught the redeye and I got to sleep, Fabian Not so much. Dude is too damn friendly at times, I got the window and Fabe sat in the middle. As soon as we sit down the dude in the aisle seat says something about being nervous and he rarely flies. I was like fuck that, put in my earphones and dozed off. Fabian though started talking to him and I have no clue why and Fabe the next morning was like dude talked too much and was moving around talking about needing his medication. Anyways we land safely and My cousin picks us up. We get to my grandma's and we contemplated getting a telly but My grandparents stay alone in a decent sized house, so we decided to stay there until situation dictated otherwise. Plus Grandma wanted us to stay, she likes company and cooking for people. We were rarely if ever home enough to go to sleep take a shower and change and maybe eat breakfast. Well as soon as we get to grandma's we take a shower and leave to the Strip Club. At the strip club we have a few beers and two strippers probably recognizing we werent from there, immediately pushed up on us. Fabian starts spitting Pimp game to one, on some you should strip in Tijuana and make that Guap tip. I on the other hand felt a slight connection(no every stripper connects with the common fool) and she asks if I have Nextel and I tell her yes, well she then tells me Sunday is her only day off and if I wanted to hang out with her, so I tell her sure and to give me a call on Sunday. I didnt think much of it, so Fabe and I decided it was time to leave and go home and get ready for the nights festivities, which entailed bar hopping with my cousin. We left the place slightly inebriated and like Fabe would go on to say many a time during the week when something was said in reply to anything "I aint mad at that". For instance I would say "Yo Fabe we dropped about 500 Pesos in there on just Beer" Fabe would reply "I aint mad at that, We only live Twice". We get to Grandma's and as I was taking a shower, I guess Fabe Dogg falls asleep. My cousin comes to pick us up and its like 9pm and I cant wake Fabe up. So we just left him, all I could think at the time was first night and this dude is already out.
My cousin his wife and I get to the Street Scene/Fiestas. Basically its just a big fucking open space with Bars with a Fair Next Door and a Rodeo Ring. We meet up with some of my cousins friend in this VIP type section and they're drinking that Yak. I was like WTF and ordered a bottle of Tequila, cuz thats how I rock. Next thing you know I was fucking bent, My cousin went on to tell me that I was hollering at any bitch who smiled my way. He also said that a Photographer from the local newspaper who was covering the event came to our area and asked if he could take my picture. I dont recall this but my cousin said that I said yes and in turn when he took the picture I flipped him off. (he said if it came out in the paper he would email it to me, since the paper only comes out once a week). At this point I dont remember ish from that night and I just remember waking up in the bed feeling horrible and Fabe Dogg talking up a storm with my Grandma at 8 in the focking morning.
I finally wake up do to Fabe's constant bitching about me sleeping too much. We head out to eat Mariscos and drink a few beers, at this point we just pace ourselves cuz like Fabe put it "I aint trying to put up good numbers on one night, I need to be a consistent force and put up big numbers every night, like the Greats". We get some Tickets for the Banda Recodo concert that night, who besides good music, they attract the bitches. Sure enough that night there was many a Viejas. Later on Fabe and I did some very intricate evaluations and came to the conclusion that it was a 4 to 1 woman to man ratio up in that place. I and Fabe soon were on the prowl and hollering at every chick who glanced our way. Truth be told we probably looked hella different Fabe had this thin Hoodie shirt on and put on the hood and I was wearing a Kangol in a sea of Cowboy hats(come later in the week a girl said hi to me and said she remembered me from the concert because of my Kangol). We post up by a Beer Stand and I get to dancing with a few girls, getting numbers and names. Honestly though life is a little bit different in my moms hometown, girls want to get to know you go out on dates be boyfriend and girlfriend. So in our quest to get pussy we ended up with way more possible girlfriends than chicks that were "ready". I would venture in a month you can probably run through some chicks, but in a week the task is slighlty more difficult. Even then we were more about having a good time and relaxing than anything else. That night I basically got hammered and danced with random chicks. Fabe on the other hand didnt dance and just collected numbers. We ended up leaving around 3am and the band was still playing, but being that I was so hammered and dudes were already looking to beef with me, for no focking reason. Fabe and I decided to call it a night and bounced.
Next day we decided to head to the downtown Guzman, which basically looked like a swapmeet in the middle of a town that has like four Catholic Churches sorrounding a park in the middle of town, downtown has a lot of old buildings and a nice feel to it. Around the Park are a bunch of stands with Food and Games. The streets are blocked off and people are walking around drinking and partying it up and its only 2pm or so. We were passing the time, because that night I was meeting up with My cousin Jesus's Aunt on his side of the family. Who so happened to have two Nieces for the Fabe and I. One of the Nieces lives in Diego and her and I have always been cordial but never on intimate level or anything, but I always thought I could get her, no conciet. Fabe on the other hand had a slight run-in(no boning) with the other niece a few years before when we made the trek to Guzman for my sisters Quince. So we figured we both couldnt lose on this outing. That night we meet up with Jesus's Aunt and her Nieces plus a couple of other cousins, everybody looking ready to drinky drank. We get a table in this bar/club that has a live band playing order a bottle of tequila and a couple rounds of beers and go to work. I could see Fabe going to work immediately and I lay low but flirt a little with the other cousin, lets call her Alli. Anyways the night goes on we keep drinking dancing and I ask Alli if she wants to go check out some of the other places with me and she says yes. So we walk around talk and she mentions why I never hollered. I explain we had different circumstances and nothing ever quite fit but luckily we found each other at that time in a whole nother country while not even looking, (the serendipity I thought to myself while I ran a little game). There was a slight drizzle and so I played romantic and walked her to another place playing slow music and danced with her for like half an hour. While doing so some chicks from the concert came by and said hello. We stopped dancing and decided to go back since everybody else was still at our table and probably wondering where we were since we had bounced for about an hour or so. On the walk over to the place in the drizzle I grabbed her and pulled her close to give her a kiss, ya I romance like that it doesnt come natural like my funny, I had to practice at paying attention to a girls demeanor but I am pretty good now(I probably put a good ten years of knowledge on my knowing chicks resume just by being with the ex-wifey for four years because I was in constant read mode with her quirky and very emotional personality). We get back(no Little Brother) and everybody quickly starts bagging on us about where and what we were doing. We just laugh it off and continue to drink and have a good time. Fabe Dogg had everybody rolling doing all kinds of dumb dances, pelvic thrusting doing his impression of Joakim Noak and Harlem Shaking[||], keep in mind they have no clue what those dances are. Finally around 4am or so they kick us out, but we head downtown where they were singing Las Mananitas with banda for Senor San Jose. Everybody gets out of the truck we were rolling in except Fabe and his chick they stayed back. Everybody else follows the Banda who were playing music with all kinds of people singing and following them around drinking Ponche Caliente laced with Tequila(good ish I might add).
I decide to tell Alli that we should go to the Monument in the middle of the Park and stand over there. We go over there starting kissing and groping whatever, she said something to me and I was like "ya that right there isnt the cellphone" right after she said "you wanna get a taxi and leave" I was like "sure". So we bounce without announcing ish, Taxi stops at her Grandmas Crib and I tell to wait for a few minutes, while I walked her to the door and figured out the next step. At the door she tells me I could stay and that the "house is big" and even if I woke up in the living room it didnt matter cuz everybody already knows "your Maria's son". I get to kissing and groping again but decide that I should leave, basically since I know she lives in Diego I knew I didnt have to force anything. I jump in the Taxi and head back downtown and its about 530 ish, I see Fabe walking with a big ass smile and wierd stain on his Brown Polo shirt, I am like wtf and he was like "Ill tell you in a little bit, I only live twice". I see Jesus's Aunt and right away she is asking if I smashed it, keep in mind this lady is like 50 and my moms Co-d but she just doesnt give a fuck(my mom told me that five years ago she almost died and she has been living it up ever since, Yes John Legend), I just ignored her and got in the car. Jesus's little cousin was like in spanish "Ya'll know I drive better drunk, right", I just thought I have heard that shit before. They dropped us off and Fabe had a dumb smile on his face and was like "I got some head, no bluetooth but it was good and I bust in a minute on my shirt I aint mad at that, success" "I think I am going to frame and retire that shirt, Cum doesnt come off right?" I look at him and say "I am going to bed your disgusting and keep that shit away from me". He replies "you know even though we are having a good time, something is still missing like a Jesus, 3 is greater than 2 and he would pump us up to do dumb shit since he is practically married now. Tomorrow I am going to find us a wingman with something different to add to us so we can get more bitches" I say "Fuck Fabe just go to sleep" He says "you get any pussy" I say "Nah but I probably could've" he says "ya I could see it in her face she was feeling you" I say "Ok mothafucka' its 6am time to go to bed".
Sure enough we wake up the next day around noon feeling like something terrible, but Fabe Dogg still grinning and shit talking about "I am going to find someone to roll with us". My cousin calls and tells us if we want to go to this nice little restaurant called the Chamizal, to drink some beers. We roll with him around 1 and as soon as I walk in the Hostess her of the Caramel complexsion light eyes and with the nicest booty ever, looks right into my eyes, I felt this immediate connection(yes Cupid) she smiles, I smile just like that. She seats us but apparently my cousin and Fabe Dogg didnt notice the flirting.
Anyways the Convo goes like this for a few hours with My cousin just looking at us and dying of laughter and shaking his head.
Fabe Dogg said he found a wingman earlier "Yo this dude was midget but with the little kid face like Milonkis and he was making ballon animals, that dude is rolling with us tonight, he is a special talent", I say "I saw a buff Lesbian chick with short hair, Maybe she should also roll with us we need a bodyguard" Fabe says "Hey what about that dude with the Big Nose from the other day he seemed cool and his nose has character, he is rolling with us" I say "I thought we were only going to find one replacement for Jesus". Fabe Says "We could never replace Jesus with just one Wingman, Jesus's qualities as a drinker/instigator/good samaritan/motivator are unmatched he is like the Phil Jackson of Wingman, He puts the Zen on us to do some really magical shit" I say "Speaking of Magical what about that dude downtown who was doing those tricks with that little Skeleton, He Probably knows Santeria Maybe he should roll with us" Fabe "I aint mad at that, How about those chubby twins that were like 10 wearing the same clothes killing their ice cream, that we saw downtown, Those little fuckers were incredible they should roll with us but eating ice cream cones at all times, at all times" I say "ya most def they should roll with us, them little twins had swag" Fabe bursts out laughing "Fuck ya they had stupid swag, did you see them when they ate their ice creams, One licked then the other licked, I bet if one fucks the other will feel it" I say "Fabe dogg they were like 10 homie, they dont fuck, atleast I dont think so" Fabe Dogg says " Who Knows they might fuck, life over here is different and I am pretty sure when I was 10 if pussy had presented itself I would have fucked, I did watch my first porn at 7, so I knew where I had to put my thing" I say "Pause Pause(laughing), ya when you admitted to throwing up after watching it" Fabe Says " I threw up at first but I kept watching cuz I liked it, I preservered and came out on top that porn helped mold me into who I am" I dying " ok ok what about a Monkey, we should get a Monkey to roll with us, every woman likes a little monkey" Fabe Doggs Says " ok but he has to masturbate on command then he could roll with us" .......The whole "rolling with us" Continues the whole rest of the trip with a ridiculous amount of quotables I wish I had recorded.
During the intellectual convo and pounding beers the whole time I catch the Hostess glimpsing and smiling. I was like fuck this, I am going to talk to her. My cousin stopped me, he said they would chew her ass out if I went over there and hollered. He told me to wait to see if she would get off soon and then follow her out and talk to her. Sure enough an hour later and feeling lovely I might add, I see her grab her purse and head for the door. I play dumb follow her out and outside I holler, something like this.
Me: "Hey Excuse Me"
Girl slightly shook: "yes"
Me: "Hi My Name is ___ and I couldnt help but notice you smiling at me, whats your name"
Girl: "Cindy, Ya I was being Friendly"
Me: "Cindy Nice to meet you (shake her hand) so you smile like that to everyone?"
Me: "Well would you like to hang tonight or tomorrow if you aint busy, I am only town a few more days"
Girl: " I dont know you and thats not how we really do things down here"
Me: "Well are you going out to the Bars Tonight?, I could get meet you there and maybe get to know you a little or do you have a man?"
Girl: "No I dont have a man, Ya I am going to be at the Bars Tonight, look for me"
Me: "Ok cool, Do you have a cellphone?"
Me: "well then I will be looking for you and nice to meet you Cindy"
Girl: "Ya look for me and nice meeting you too, by the way you have nice eyes"
I go back into to the restaurant, slightly disappointed but still feeling my swag for going outside to holler at the chick. My cousin and Fabe are dying after I tell them the exchange. My Cousin tells me that the girls response is probably the usual from most chicks from the town. He goes on to tell us that dating boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are still pretty much the norm in the town and Not no meet and greet 5 hours later skeet skeet, that we tend to be used to; that Ho exists you just have to look for her he told us. We ended up leaving like at 7 after being there for like 5 hours eating/but basically just drinking non-stop. My cousin drops us off and tells us to take a nap cuz it was going to be a long night. I start thinking that I might not be cut from the cloth of legendary drinkers or Greats that Fabe was talking about. We get home and crash.
To Be Continued....................
Monday, October 15, 2007
I have been advid watcher of CYE, for a minute. This season got off to a slow start but once they brought LEON(JB Smoove) on its been a wrap. He goes on in with the comedy. Check For yourself and extreme no homo for all that "getting in that ass" talk.
SideNote: I am out this week to Guadlajara on vacation. Not like I am blogging relentlessly these days anyways. I have been unmotivated and busy like a mothafucka' as of late. I do have a dope story about the phrase "Oh Marcos Behave" I will bring that to you in a couple of weeks, that story is instant Fuxie Classic Material type shit. Ohh Ya I am going to be getting twisted every fucking day on vacation, Dont Be Mad UPS is hiring!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
I had to post the homies and cuz it encompasses so much Swag on the screen. Like Hootie would say how did they catch soo much swag on the screen there is too much swagger there its undeniable. Here are 2 tracks off the upcoming American Gangsta album
^^ Roc Boyz
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
You may have more cash than me/but you dont have the skillz to eat another niggas ass like me(c) Canibus
1:40 in DMX has a hysterical fit over that line, extra [||]
Damn Canibus was that dude and DMX at that time was even bigger than the CAMELLO(jigga). Well this clip always makes me laugh when I see DMX laugh at that line I posted. Enjoy
By the way make sure you visit my new post and leave a comment over there to support me going on in with the funny. Judd Apatow you need a writer for your next movie holla Punk Bitch! Jay Leno *daps Chin* You want a new perspective on shit holla Bitch! Jimmy Kimmel do you want it then come get it bitch! Holla at the Gmail mothafucka's I am goin on in extra greasy with the Comedy.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Story as told to Fuxie...........names were withdrawn to protect identities and relationships etc.
" Yo so its Sunday night and I was at the pizzeria with the homies, nothing Majah. I get home put on some basketball shorts throw on the TV. Well around 1am I get up to go get some Juice. I hear some noises coming from the garage and I look in and its this psycho bitch I had been fucking. I am like, 'how the fuck did you get in' she was like ' I told you I needed to speak to you so I followed you home I was going to surprise you' I was like ' what the fuck is wrong with you, you need to get the fuck out before I call the cops or some shit' she said 'I dont have anywhere to go' I said ' Go to the Homie B's house he wont have a problem with it'. I closed the door and made sure she got in her car and bounced. Anyways I wake up the next morning and call the Homie B and he says ya sure enough she showed up...."
Ed Note: so the Homie B was also in attendence and now this is his part of the story.......
"so my roommate wakes me saying some chick is sneaking around the backyard, I look at her and its the Homie A's jumpoff so I open the door and let her in. I ask her what she wanted 'she was like can I talk to you' I say 'sure you mind if I smoke an L while you talk to me' I light up my blunt and two minutes in her hand is on my dick. I am 'you wanna go to my room' she said 'yes' and we go to my room. within in minutes I am straight smashing the ish out of this chick (ed note: she is mad midgety) but when I look at her face she has no emotion like I am banging a hooker and since she isnt giving anything back it takes me 40 minutes of smashing to come. Anyways as soon as I am done I play dumb and show her a text that my girlfriend is coming so she could get the fuck out. She gets scared and leaves to, I dont know where"
Ed Note: Homie C comes into the picture and tells his part of the story......
"So that same morning I wake up around 7am but I have no clue what happened the night before and go outside the crib and I notice a wierd car in the street. I walk up to it and I see a body in the back and it was the homie A's Jumpoff. I knock on the window as her what she is doing and she said she didnt have a place to go. So I ask her if she wants to sleep in my room and she says sure. So we go to my room and lay down, I try to cuddle her and get something to pop. Anyways she says she is tired so I go back to bed.I wake her ass up around 10am and tell her to bounce, havent really talked to her since....."
Ed Note: Homie D tells his part of the story.........
"so the chick calls me that night asking if she can crash at my place, I say sure on the couch. Sure enough she comes over and lays on my couch. I tried to fondle her tits but nothing popped(Ed. Note: word is he really smashed but doesnt want to say) , the next morning she left and I havent talked to her since"
Ed Note Final Note: All in all this chick is pyscho and its only a matter of time before we hear something worse happening to her. I myself wouldnt touch the chick but I know a few of the crew who are probably going to run a train on her and good for them is what I say. I hope you enjoyed and Cien!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
I go all day like the clock on the wall! I am really going to try and give a horrible performance on this post and I am going to blame it on the liquor, Ecstasy and my waxed eyebrows. Britney needs to sit her hoe ass down and make sure she is wearing panties cuz the last thing I need to see is all that hang time on her monkey again as well as horrible singing/dancing. Don't get me wrong I like hoe to make fools of themselves but what TI over at MTV co-signed this bag to open up the show. Anyways Nicole and Lil Wayne(the best rapper alive, no hyperbole) killed the pre-show in my opinion. As far as the rest of the show I just fast forwarded and dozed off, I pretty much just picked my boogers and farted not really paying close attention to even come up with a fair synopsis. I am pretty secure in saying that it probably sucked and I didn't miss anything.
Mos Def went on in on Bill Maher, there is 4 parts to this and go ahead and watch. I don't think Mos intends to be funny all the time but every time I watch dude on one of these talk shows, I find myself laughing hysterically. I dont think that is always Mos's intention but he does always have a sense of sarcasm when he makes valid points. I remember watching Italian Job and Mos meets Skinny Pete(Gawtti from Boo-Ya Tribe) and Mos cant look at dude in his eyes, that scene was one of the funniest bits in a movie I have ever seen(I tried hard to find the clip on the net and this is all I found) and when I became a believer in Mos Def's thespian skills. Anyways back to the Maher and I know I am not the most educated dude but geez Cornel West has lost me completely, I saw him give a speech a few years back and I totally understood what the hell he was saying then but now not so much. Dude starts making a point about something and mid-way I will start thinking about titties or Dos XX (his blood smells like cologne -see the most interesting guy in the world -; I wonder what his breath smells like [||]) and then Cornel will finish his point and I am sitting there with a blank stare like WTF just happened to my mind too much Harvard/Ivy League speak for me to decipher I guess, Fuck it back to the Titties and Dos XX thoughts.
Trick Daddy got arrested for disorderly intoxication in a Strip club. Nah really, Trick seems to me like the type of guy who acts very gentlemanly in any kind of setting including the Strip Club, Nann Nigga(c) Trick Daddy. By the Way on the I'm So Hood track, Trick killed that ish thoroughly and the beat fits him; it should have just been him on the whole track with T-Pain on the hook no need for Ricky Ross and Plies. WTF is a Plies sounds like a new kitchen appliance to me. i.e. "I just got that new plies and it makes great margaritas"
All the ladies in the house say HO! No Need to say that but I want my writing to feel like I am today; which is super hyphy. Get my pool in the back of Course. Its going to be hot this winter on some so cold its hot type shit sort of like dry ice. Get my popsicle in my hand [||], no super fudge bar. I have always wanted to go into 31 Flavors(Havent seen one of those in a minute) try all the flavors and leave without buying an Ice Cream because they didnt have my favorite flavor which is RomPope; Ya'll Latinos know what I am talking about; Damn TostiLocos eating Mofo's.
So my homies said they saw the ex-wifey of many years out at the club with her new man. Big Shout out to him and good luck seriously, also that dent on the right side of the bed is from you know who.
I treated this past sunday like the real Super bowl, so saturday night I played it real chill and didnt go out so I could be up bright and early. I watched most of the games at a bar with my homies and then we headed to my aunts to barbeque and watch the Chargers. I actually was pretty happy with the Charger game, they showed that they were able to win without LT being on point. Ugly wins are always good. Big Up Randy Moss who looked like he was stuck in '99 mode and just killed the JETS. I hate the Patriots but they are going to be serious this season. In my opinion the Championship is goin to come down to the Chargers, Colts and Patriots nobody else looks to be in that class.
Speaking of Sports wtf is up with the Knicks and Zeke. Yo I am not a lawyer by any means but this chick Browne-Sanders is saying a whole lot of shit before this sexual harrasment claim has even went to trial, why not just settle it. The chick is saying Zeke would call her a ho or F'ing Bitch and told her to send some Knickerbocker Dance chicks to the referee locker room to flirt with the referees before games. With the Donaghy ish hitting the fan, does the NBA really need anymore negative press. Well whatever, Zeke's seems like a pretty gully dude but his game with this chick was weak. Allegedly he played HORSE with her at a charity event and after he beat her Zeke said "I think I am falling in love with you" wtf is that, I dont make this stuff up. I just pass it on. Where is Harold Reynolds when we need him.
"Paging all sexual harassers, Report to the dance floor immediately"
No Bernard Hopkins being called "Soapy"
Okay one question for Usher, Why Get Married? Dude you are young and famous, is it necessary to get married let alone to some old chick with kids. Why not just move in with her and keep it moving.
Go Pick up the Kanye and Curtis on GP. Plus that new Good Life Video is the truth. Is Kanye just act like a little bitch to be funny. Because some of his little shenanigans are straight up Homo. I guess I dont really care for Kanye the person but he makes dope music. Its like Barry Bonds, dude is probably not the most desirable person to be around but he is a great ball player. In the end thats all that matters to me when I am trying to get my entertainment on. Word to Mike Vick
Yo PETA, I killed a mouse the other day with a shovel, lil suma'bitch was eating an avocado in the garage. So I had to ether him up, call me the Gravedigga word to the Pick the Sickle and the Shovel. Runaway Ralph dont want it with Fux, Noooooooo!
Catch ya'll next week, call it a date. Cien!
ps this his been up at Hiphopremix.com for a week, dont forget to visit my other spot on the web.
Monday, September 17, 2007
I just hit the one year mark with my blog. I honestly feel pretty good about it. I have slowed down but I havent quit. So I wanted to take this time and thank some people. I want to list all the people that influenced me or had my back during this past year. I am going to try and do it like a Cd when you open up the book and see the Artist thanking anyone and everyone for holding them down during the creative process. So check my rundown, If I didnt name you by name please dont get offended as I am doing this over a two day process just to try and make sure I name as many people as I can. Anybody who has come across my life this past year in all forms email,chat,e-family whatever; I am thanking all you to.
First and Foremost I want to thank the GOD and whatnot. My Parents-Moms for putting up with all my ish and still playing a dule roll of mother and grandmother. BaBa- we dont talk that often but I know you're holding me down. My Sister- you are growing up before my eyes and it can be hard for me to understand that maybe you are not a little girl anymore, now shut your mouth. My Daughter- who is my everything and I am tough on you but its because I love you. The Ex-Wifey Beezy-I love you and I understand I wasnt the man for you, I am glad we can be cordial and amicable.My whole Family Tias' Uncles- people that have a great deal of influence on my sense of humor.To all my Cousins, specifically- Jesus, Thongs and Tony- I have many a more cousins but you guys are the ones I grew up with and roll with. Nora,Lety,Cynthia,Diana, Amanda yall girls are the homies and keep my day rolling with emails, thanks. My Whole Crew the Hooligans, Fabe Dogg- my Co-d and brotha from anotha mothafucka' you make me laugh with your countless strories about the opposite sex, Mexico next month My Nukka. Omar-whats good my brotha, you influence me too, you're a funny mothafucka'. Aharon- Compadre what more can I say, you asked me to be your sons godfather. The Rest... Raul, AJ, B-Diddy aka OG Bobby Johnson, Felipe aka Flipper, Jose Ramos aka Adrian Gonzales Brother, Jenny- thanks you are good people, Felipe aka Thoree, Carlo, Java aka Dj Khaled "we the best who weeeeeeee", Paco aka the Panch aka Francisco aka the Mexican Steve O, Strong Rick aka the Plummer, Arturo, Eder the whole Cobian Family, Young Steve, Big Pun, Elmer- the best thing you could have got was shot in Iraq, now you are home safe and dont have to go back, Walter, Stan- whats good little brotha, Gabe, Jason, David, the Rest of My Cousins Tony's Crew I may have missed , Dulce Gang- Mo and Memo- What up!, any girl I have ran threw this year thanks for the love. Iliana- what up girl, its not over its just Half-time baby and I am still in the game, Maribel- Thanks for being a nice humble girl, Alejandra- whats good, Maija- hey girl, Jeanette- you are a sweet woman, Brook- que onda, My Internet influences and the reason I do this, Dallas Penn- Whats up homie you are basically the reason I do this shit, Eskay- whats good now fix your ish so I can comment, Bol Crawford - even if with the constant faggotry,Fresh- Hey girl, Nathan over at Hiphopremix.com- thanks for giving my corner and I am going to try and go all in with the comedy this year at your spot, lets get this ish to crack homie, The Whole NahRight Collective and If I started to list names; I know damn right I would miss one of ya'll so I am not even going to do that but I want to thank all of you for making my workday go by faster and the endless stories, Belize- I can mention you homie, because it was before Nah and you're one of the original e-homies, Gringo aka No Mames Buey - whats up and thanks for always hooking it up.Patti-for the love. Everybody again Thanks and if I may have missed you I got you on the next e-drinks on Me. I honestly Considered throwing a party for this but I am about to go on a trip and I just couldnt make the money stretch that far, so next time. *blop blop blop* Shots In the Air, Cien!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The summer is just about officially over so why not have one last hoorah! Summer Bunnies it is. Wierd how they have Aaliyah in this video its probably right before Kells starting peeing on her(God bless the dead), I dont make this shit up I saw the tape. Well I used to like this song because The Spinners-Its a Shame is one of my favorite beats. Monie Love also sampled the beat and I think Lethal Bizzle.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Big up the homie D, who sent me this clip and told me I could post it. I cant begin to describe the admiration that I have for her. I wouldnt say Diana and I are close per se but we have a good relationship as far as male/female friendships go. Diana is a hardworking mother but the thing that I look up to is all the extra-curricular sh!t she is into teaching dance, surfing, running marathons, being a mother and I assume boning her husband is also part of her curriculum. Whatever the case besides being sexy(but I dont even look at her like that, Claudia her homie though is another story I would eat her ass and chocha until I tore an ACL) she is also in inspriration to your boy Fuxie and thats why I stay in touch; Our daughters are good friends so I guess that is another reason.
Anyways Diana keep doing you and I know you aspire to do something in entertainment and you better believe I got your back like reverse cowgirl. The only complaint I had on your tape was that in real life you are pretty funny and the tape didnt have enough of that. Cien!
Friday, September 07, 2007
Thursday, September 06, 2007
So whats good White Folks in the club with a mug. Word is bond I was chased by some pits(no Mike Vick) and I stopped and sang some James Brown "I am black and I am proud to them" them dogs in turn starting humping each other. Wierd shit I know, but I learned that from Shame aka Damon Wayans. If you dont know what I am talking about get your movie viewing game up. Word to Siskel and Ebert/Roeper or whatever them fuckas go by now days, they change their names more than often than Diddy. "Two Thumbs up" requires a disclaimer of sorts, sounds mad suspect for two grown ass men to say something is "two thumps up" how about a "double fist up"; Whoa forget I suggested that.
Kanye and Curtis leaked [||] this week. I like Kanye's album and I have had it on constant rotation but its not anywhere close to College Dropout in my Opinion; Champion and Goodlife being my early favorite cuts. Curtis I listened to a few times, the album is ok just about what I expected from ole Curt nothing ground breaking. I still suggest ya'll to go pick up both next week on GP. By the way if you never heard 50's album "Guess Whos Back" go pick that up because that was a classic-slept on album, just in case you want some old 50 type music and not this vitamin-watered down type ish he is dropping.
I want to also say T-Pain has an amazing talent and that is crafting infectious hooks and in turn become hit songs. I cant really front when I am in the club and I hear Bartender, Buy you a Drank, Im so Hood, Good life(possibly) or Shawty those are all bonafide club bangers that have one thing in common, thats T-Pain.
I dont know if you know that Travis Henry of the Broncos is the new-age Shawn Kemp, no he didnt get caught with crack and gain forty pounds in his bottocks[||]. But dude has 9 children with 9 different women, damn. Look I dont make this shit up I just pass the word to ya'll.
By the way how much does Shaq stand to lose now that he is getting divorced. Even with an Iron Clad pre-nup dude is going to lose something. Unless he can prove Shaunie's trainer was "working that ass out" literally maybe then he will only have to give up 20million. Who would even want to tap Shaunie after Shaq and 6 kids, that must feel like sticking your Unit in Bathtub, Nada.
Larry Craig trying to Bofo somebody in an airport restroom, now that ish is hilarious. I didnt know there was hand signals for Fag, I just go by how dudes talk. I am glad I just go into a public restroom to Piss and not Shit, I might have had to fock somebody up if there foot touched mine up from underneath a bathroom stall. That is severely homo and by the way if I am pissing in a stall next to you wait till I am done before starting a convo; It goes against my morals as a Nonfag-Man. If I was gay and flashed you that hand signal then go ahead and try to run your game for some head in a stall [||]. I wish I can just flash a hand signal to a woman and she would just jump right into sucking my unit. Wait a second I think that is called waving down a prostitute, I will pass. No I cant really mess with AIDS its not my thing, word to Magic. I once messed with a girl that was a bona-fide pro fortunately for me all I acquired was diarrhea, thanked the Pussy God for that one.
I heard Kellz got his trial postponed till 08. Damn who is his lawyer because that dude is on his grizzly. I am fascinated with this Kelly peeing on young chicks trial, not because I want to do that type of ish but because I want to see what is going to happen to him. The thought of pissing on a girl is quite funny,not in a misogynistic kind of way but like why would I want to do that; unless I was in a pool and wanted her to feel warm but that would be thoughtful of me.
I went to go see Barrington Levy last week and dude killed it. I have seen many a live concert before and Barrington impressed me, he really goes on in. He seems to be really enjoying what he is doing, his energy infectious and voice is very clear. Catch him if you can(c) Leonardo.
Ghostface is probably my next concert dude is in town in October, I have stated before that Ghostface is top5 dead or live on GP. His discography speaks for itself, almost no one else in hip-hop has been as consistent.
He has a little sugar in his tank, basically he is homosexual(c) Rick James ..... Wow is this hilarious, big up cMac!
Ohh I might be late but Owen Wilson one-half of the Wedding Crashers tried to Off himself. Whoa Hollywierd stays losing, I cant believe some of these idiots. How can you be so down on yourself that you try a heroin/poison cocktail and then slit your wrists. I dont even get stunned by any of this ish anymore. I cant wait for Amy Winehouse to be caught with a needle on her clit and her passed out almost dead. Dont get me wrong I dont wish death upon anyone, lets hope she gets caught in a semi-coherent state. Then Amy can get help and find Jesus, Word to Mike Vick.
Michael Jackson dropped this new scorcher Mamacita[||].Good to see him back doing his thing but does anybody believe him when he is singing to girls. Wacko stays losing. I cant front though in my top25 most played on the iPizzle I have like 5 Wacko tracks. Word to PYT, Human Nature, The Way you make me Feel, Rock with you, etc.
On that note, I am Cien catch ya'll next week!
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
I have been slacking on the iCandy but I just saw this chick and had to post her. Riczabeth comes out on some Novela called Dame Chocolate! Damn right, now lets all jerk to this[||]
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Damn it was hot last week, so hot in fact on one particular day my balls[||] were thirsty so I soaked them in Formula Fifty. 50 stays losing and Kanye stays winning i.e.His appearence on Entourage this past week and snippet of his song Good Life!
Get at me if you are going to be at the House of Blues in Diego on the 31st watching Barrington Levy, Word to Shyne Po.
Pick up Deep Hearted by Talib's WeedCarriers- Strong Arm Steady, I got my hands on it last week and no Mr.Fantastic but the album bangs on some serious West Coast Hip-Hop Tip. Top 5 album of the 3rd quarter, Real talk. I havent stopped bumping it for a week and thats saying a lot a because I am fickle like a mothafucka' when it comes to new music. Pick up Ear Drum too, best Kweli album since Quality and he has upped his game and hitting his lyrical prime.
Girls who can get it early and often Lauren London, Galalea Montijo and Ms. Dynamite and that chick I met at the bar who gave me her number and when I called and left a message she never returned my call. No reason just thought I should mention those 4 chicks.
Yo I made the mistake of eating Tacos on a random corner in Tijuana at 3am with the homies last Tuesday. Damn and did my stomach pay the price Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I was in the bed out for the count, my homies didnt do fair to well themselves. Thats the last time I eat at a random stand, I usually fuck with vendors I know and food poisoning is the reason. Big Up to Currupt Tijuana Policia who pulled me over twice on some "drinking and driving suspicion" I blew [||] in there little bitch ass breathalizer and came out negative and they still wanted to take me away. Luckily for me the Homies brother who runs Revolucion and TJ came through when I clicked him on the Nextel, dude went in on the Policia for fucking with the kid and they let me go. He had to do this again later and I realized that was the main reason I dont even drive when I am in Tijuana and I just park my car on the US side and get a Taxi to shoot us around town for 5 bucks. Point is in the end I won, an American Cop would have stuck his flashlight all up in my ass for even trying to call someone.
I think we should have a barter system with cops like they should take cash considerations for dumb traffic infractions and they can give you a reciept or go to court to dispute the violation. I would much rather give up 40 bucks for drinking a beer, texting and driving all at the same time than going to court. What do ya'll think? If I drink 3 beers at 6pm and then Drive home at 630 drink 4 more beers from 7pm to 9pm and then take a shower and then Drive to the Jumpoffs around 10pm, constitute drinking and driving, I think not because I usually feel very good when I am making that drive.
Mike Vick I am going to leave you alone for real but damn, I commend you that you found Jesus.I bet Jesus would have liked you to find duke when you where Catapulting Pits or Throwing them in the English Channel not after you got caught. Jesus dont like Ugly, he told me himself that day I was fucked up off of Mexican Ponche (a homemade Pomegranite Wine) and I had a long talk with Jesus dude is pretty chill and he said to me his words "drink that wine young man and I dont like Ugly". That event was Surreal like a Mothafucka' word to me meeting the ChupaCabra and he only wanted to eat the cats in my backyard so we bonded over me hating cats and him liking to eat them. Well word to the girls I eat cat all the time, thats obivious. Before I forget Jesus also doesnt like George Bush I was able to decipher as much when he said he didnt like Ugly.
Word on the Street is that Lance Briggs was ghostriding the Lambo, I dont make this shit up I just post it.
Kobe if you didnt know is the best player in the Universe and its not even close now get dude Jermaine O'Neal and let him run with a squad of Kobe, D-Fish, Lamar, O'Neal and Luke Walton and see if they dont win 50 to 55 games.
RIP Eddie Griffin. Alcohol like Cocaine is a helluva drug but atleast I will always remember Eddie [||] when I put the porn on in the ride and decide to Jerk and Drive.
Out of LF: but Cam'Rons performance as Rico on Paid in Full was criminally underrated dude was hilarious. I actually think Cam is really Rico or he is turning into him or some shit, word to Courtesy Courtis. By the way why the fuck did I put the LF disclaimer when this whole post is coming from LF or the Baseline.
I am out Big up South East Diego doing it, I see you Reggie Bush and Adam Jones of the Mariners. I will catch up next week till then stay on the Grind like a Skater, CIEN!
You can also see this post over at HIPHOPREMIX.com
Friday, August 24, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Yo whats good my Peoples. First things First I have officially took the word Retard out of my lexicon its way too offensive and have since replaced it with Mongoloid......NOW lets get it on(c) Mills Lane
Jay Electronica havent heard him will look him up, dude is the truth and I am not being Mr.Fantastic when I say he reminds me of NaS in a good way, not biting NaS but just has that feel. Plus Dude is from Magnolia repping the South Hard.
Yo Tru Life is looking to bounce off of the Roc, which is probably the right move.I can honestly say Dude is complete garbage as an MC but he is pretty gully and has nice Ponytails to boot.
Word with the Winter right around the corner, getting geared up is probably option one.Option two is finding the right girl to shack up with during the winter months to watch a movie with or share an Ice Cream. So wise up find a girl that is decent and share the holidays with said girl.
Big Love and WEEDS are some dope tv shows, you should tune in. John from Cincinnati not so much and I watched the whole season on GP because it was filmed in Diego. By the way Billy Walsh besides Ari is the funniest dude on Entourage, SUITS(c) Walsh
Ok Ok Last time Mike Vick cloned some of his most valiant Pit's, that's gangsta almost as gangsta as him not ratting out his GrandMa who also participated in fighting her Pits. Vick lost and here everybody thought he was the "good brother". Marcus Vick please stand up.
I wonder if Bow Wow has guns the size of Lil Bow Wow, No Omarion Bow Wow collabo album..
DJ UNK is a Bama, I just watched him on MTV Cribs, Dude had plaques for ringtone sales nothing else. Hip Hop Stays Losing.
My Boy Fabe Dogg said he would bone Prince for 50k, His reasoning and direct quote "Prince is pretty, petite and freaky he would be like a chick with a dick". No Reason he just thought he should mention. So me being drunk I said "I Would Masturbate an Elephant then drink his Juice for 50k" [ll]
Patron Silver and Don Julio Anejo are the best Tequilas in the business!
Is Pill Popping the new "20", I was at this lounge the other day went into the restroom and saw like 4 dudes dropping something. I think I am pretty hip to the game and whatnot but I found this to be odd. I didnt ask what they were taking, probably just some Flinstone vitamins and I am overreacting. But I have noticed everybody and their Momma's slanging Viagra, Vicodin, Oxy, Supplements, whatever. Hustle on, is what I say.
True Story: I have a homie who was staying at the Palms in Vegas. He said he was going upto his room on the elevator and met a hot chick who started hollering at him. Well he invites her to his room one thing lead to another and he was boning. He said after it was over she charged him 300 bucks, well he said he told her "wtf" and that he would be right back. Well he never went back so when his other boys showed up in the room the chick was trying to charge them, anyways they never paid her and she was looking for him the whole weekend at that room. Luckily he had homies staying on a different floor. Is that shit legal, acting interested in somebody, fucking them and then charging. Damn if that isnt a hustle I dont know what is, Word to Jehovah Witnesses.
Thats all for this week, Stay on the grizzle and Cien!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Mam'ma is what I call her or Mami, the love I have for this lady is unmeasurable. My Mother and I havent always had the greatest of relationships but everytime I think I am pulling away from her or hold some kind dumbass grudge for My mom acting like a mother, I make sure I let her know that I love her with all my heart. I know I havent always been the greatest of sons and my mom expects the world of me and attimes that expectation completely irritates me, thats when I look in the mirror and tell myself to listen to my mother. "I am no longer 19 and I have responsibilities" is what my mom beats me over the head with almost daily. I had a lot of resentment for my mother for a long time for her being so damn overprotective or never approving of any girl I was with or saying I was exactly like my father(which I understand I should be like him somewhat but I dont want to hear it). See My Dad I love the dude but he wasnt always there or he wasnt ever able to communicate with me like humans do and now that I am older I understand pops came from a completely different planet/state of mind being that he was a Kurdish Gorilla; dude probably has demons that eat him up inside. So I understand that my father couldnt be my shoulder or person to talk to when I needed some advice from a man because he didnt know any different. Thats where my mom stepped in and has carried that position with me. I speak to her daily or call her to say hello and my mom is always available rain, snow, sleet or hail. I know the trate I got from my mom that could end being my downfall, which is letting people get too close and caring for others above what I should, no homo. This is a story for another day, so I digress.
I decided to mention my mom today because last night she was drinking tequila with me while I had a few beers and we sang together and talked. My mom started mentioning all the girls of mine who she has met and starts rating them 1 - 10 straight Howard Stern style. (My Mom who is a funny lady and always has jokes and openly speaks about sex with me and mentions all the time that pops doesnt bang her[ll] anymore, whatever I dont really need to hear that shit if you ask me. But the minute I opened the sex discussion door I was never able to close it.) So she mentions a particular girl and says in spanish "she looked like her pussy stank" I was like wtf. Or she mentions a certain somebody for being her favorite and I already knew that but she likes to mention her all the time to get me to tell her to stop and she always follows up with "I bet you didnt say stop when you would fuck her" (keep in mind I am translating). The part that got me was I dated a girl a couple of years ago for like 6 months(when the wifey and I were taking one of our many breaks) and this girl was very nice but my mom at the time never liked her and last night she says that this chick was her 2nd favorite and by far the girl I should have stayed with. This caught me off guard because my mom always hated on her for always coming to the house dressed up or with gifts for my daughter or I, My mom would be like whats wrong with that girl why does she bring you stuff "pendeja". Anyways mom runs the list and she ends it with the last girl I was seeing (the one from the Tijuana story that dissed me) Moms was like "she was sort of cute for a midget, I am glad you left her"(If moms only knew). I finally chime in and ask her what she thought about my friend that came over the other day, my mom didnt skip a beat she said "she seems nice but is slightly ugly, but all she needs to be is good to you because thats all that matters son" and ended it with "dont lie to these girls and dont lead them on, you have a daughter and one day she is going to date; you wouldnt want her getting hurt, right son" and "Dont bring no damn white girl home" ...... "Right Mami"
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I cant even begin to explain how I remember this track. I just know when I was a young kid I heard it and thought this song jams. How different is R and B now from back then, the track is called Slow Love and if I had to translate to 07 it would probably be called Slow Fuck. Check this lyric "I am aroused by your every touch" now tell from T-Pain to Akon to your Pretty Ricky's none of them Nukkas could make a coherent song about making love or love and in of itself without mentioning a bottle of dom or dick size *pause* or their rims. Big up to My School R and B
CHECK THE 2ND VERSE
Girl, me and you will hug tight in my living room dark
You’re in your negligee and I’m just casually sharp
The only utter of light comes from the moon into the window
We’re alone, slow music playing and then so
I ask you to dance, you willingly respond
By saying (Yes) and takin’ me in your arms
So I’ll walk you to the dance floor down in my room
Switch on the set lights as you put on perfume
Grab your body, pull you close, then pull you closer
My love starts to grow so I walk you to the sofa
Aroused by your beauty like when we first met
You walked into my life, then my future was set
Standing with me by the couch and sexy looks on your face
Like saying, “Take me, I’m yours” and “Love me down to the base”
I laid you down, kissed your navel, then moved up above
From your breast to your neck, hit the lights and make
^^^None of these young cats have this type of Allegory, you dont have to say you want to fuck, paint a picture with words and we will all know what you mean. Quit dumbing down the lyrics, No Boosie walking around the club barefoot because its that hot!
Whats good, this week in my mind; No Dumb Pharrell album..If you got a colorful hoodie on take a seat or better yet Walk with me..
The Feds are really going on in on Mike Vick damn, but I bet ya'll didnt hear about his Dog Rocket Launcher fully capable of launching a Pit-Bull 300 yards, now thats gangsta.
Yo you know what else is Gangsta, Me knocking out a dude with a purple smedium polo on. One Punch is all it took. I will take that punch over a piece of bubblelicious watermelon flavored gum anyday of the week. What What(c) Nore in '98
This Track By Rey Lavender is currently my Joint *pause*
Football season is just a week or two away, the hype is ridiculous right now. Sunday Mornings after a long night out and barely if any amount of sleep at the local bar with the homies = the Life....Chargers going to take it this year.
Barry Bonds broke the Homerun Record, Good For him. *stands and gives light applause*
Being Guilty by Association is the new black.For instance a girl told me the other day "I cant be with you because your friends are so and so" and I didnt even argue and kept it moving thats the end of that.
I wonder if the god of pussy is a compassionate person or vindictive.
The Zoo is a good place for a date. I was with this chick once and we saw two monkeys banging, she laughed. But we banged the same day, I am not saying seeing the Monkeys bang was the reason but it couldnt have hurt. *daps baboons with colorful rumps*
Kanye West - Graduation 9-11-07; Cop it!
If Mike Vick drowns a Pit bull does one of his Co-d's mention it, I think so. Mike Vick has pitbulls that live in trees. Those are rare and can only be found at the Vick Compound.
I think the Feds should investigate Jessica Biel she has a Pit named Tina, She niggerino. Dont ask me ask WIKI
the Prestige and the Illusionist are some pretty good movies about Magic. But I think they should make a movie called the Contortionist, now that would be gangsta. *paging vivid*
*vivid hands Fuxie late pass and tell me*
"Young Man we just released Contortionist 8 the wrath of the Flexible one legged Midget"
I coined that phrase by the way "dont ask me ask wiki" .......My check better be in the mail, 1 hundred
Monday, August 13, 2007
I am on a good one, I took the past 4 days off to relax and have a good time. I may have took it overboard but thats the reason I am sharing it with ya'll. Lets skip over Friday which was basically a day i spent with a girl I have been seeing the past couple of weeks. Saturday I reached the pinnacle of what having a good, bad, and ugly time. I rolled to Tijuana (catch me in la plaza's cantina) with Fabe Dogg(yes we are always together*pause*) and mi Primo Hermano Jesus. We got there early around 830ish to try and get a keg for Happy Hour price, save a hundred bucks and get hammered was the objective. We went with the idea of just having a good time and drinking, no need to get at girls or anything. Its not the same anymore anyway because my cousin has reached a maturity level that Fabe Dogg and I havent, which is my cousin is completely devoted to his girl/future wife, I have nothing but respect for him, so basically my cousin plays Fabe Dogg and I eye's makes sure we dont get in trouble and points out who is checking us out. He also drinks the least just to make sure of this. Well we start off on a good one, we had a good table and we found our homie who is a waiter there and he made sure we always had our table full of beer. So later on my other Cousin's girlfriend showed up (my cousin was at Rock the Bells in San Bernarndino) she had a couple of friends with her and one of them was a girl I was seeing a couple of months back and her friend was a Fabe Dogg fling. So the girl that used to mess with Fabe didnt want to be around him but that didnt matter much cuz Fabe was already pushing up on some random chicks. But I was the one that got caught in the matrix a little(I get girls but a Pimp I am not), as soon as I saw the chick I used to date I lost my swag for a minute, we ended our little relationship on good terms. So I got to talking to her a little bit, but I could tell in her eyes she didnt have those feelings for me anymore. I cant begin to describe that look of a woman who once had something for you but has lost complete interest and when she looks at you, its a look of complete emptiness. I want to say maybe we spoke for 5 minutes, even though she was there for over an hour. I remember her exact words "I really liked you, but with your backround you would have lost complete interest in me" and that was it and I borrowed a proverb from one of my Nah Right Brothas and told her "I know I fucked up but life is like Chess I may have had to sacrifice a Queen so Me the King can eventually Win" she laughed and that was it. I lost my swag for that minute but I never show it. I just walked over to my table and kept drinking. They left shortly after and once again it was just Fabe Dogg Jesus and I. At this time it most have been 230am and Fabe was passing out already. But like a gift from the Pussy God in rolls 4 girls and with just the right amount of liquor in them. My boy Fabe lights up and just rolls to their table and starts to holler, so one of the girls asks him "is he your brother" pointing at me and he said "from another" and they call me over. And sure enough one of the chicks who was absolutely lovely starts whispering in my ear, at this point I was pretty hammered. So I dont remember much of what she told me but I told her "I am pretty drunk but I do know you are lovely" and she was like "you think so" (fabe said she looked like Roselyn Sanchez but younger) I asked her how old she was and she told me 19 and I was like damn but I guess I have to be the one to mold her. Sure enough I got her number and she told me to call her this week. I guess my swag is something I cant lose but once I have a few drinks in me, I think my emotions are what get me sidetracked, I try to stay on point and I think I have been for the most part. We ended up leaving after that, but drinking also gets my emotions up when it comes to tolerance of dudes getting ignorant. This brings me to the Climax of the night, we were walking across the boarder when a young kid with his girl starts yelling on them little kids who sell Chiklis at the boarder. My cousin being the good person that he is tells this Dude to just leave the little kid alone and that the little kid is just trying to make a buck plus the kid is only like 7 what could he possibly do. Well this Dude who had to be like 19 or 20 gets in my cousins face talking about the little kid was being disrespectful and whatnot. Then Fabian tells this dude, look we are all 25 plus and we come to Tijuana to have a good time not to get into fights. Well this kid was acting real brolic like, he must have got my Smedium Purple Polo twisted for bitchmade. Dude was rocking baggy jeans timbs and his hat like TI (by the way how the fuck can a hat sit at that angle on your head, ridiculous) and me being the consummate mediater I told the kid to Keep it Moving or else he was going to got knocked out and stomped and the kid said By who and I in turn told him by me homie. He looked at me and I saw one of his hands sort of ball up and wham I snuffed him dude hit the floor immediately. I stood there and I didnt hit him again, dude was out cold his girl on her knees asking me Why. I did feel bad for her but not him, I told his chick nextime your boy wants to be brave you should tell him to shut the fock up and keep it moving. Well we saw security coming up on the scene so Fabe Jesus and I took off. We got to our car and left home. Fabe Dogg had to work at 5am, I dont know how he does it but he called me early and told me that that punch was Debo like and the cleanest he has ever seen live. Fabe was like I felt like saying "you got knocked the fock out man". Well Folks that was just saturday. Sunday we had Carne Asada and continue the drinking. Today is relax day, about to go eat Mariscos with said Roselyn Sanches look a like. I cant Stop and I wont stop, 1 hundred
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Ohh and I know I have been slacking on the blogging tip, but IT over at the 8 to 5 has locked down on Wordpress,Blogger, Myspace and any other type of social network. So I used to be able to get my grizzly on the blog tip on company time but now I have to find a way to blog on Fuxie's personal clock. Which is tough since I stay busy like a hoe on Main St (Diegans know what I am talking about), but I am going to try and stay on my P's and Q's.I appreciate the love and 1 hundred
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Ya my Bilal stanism is serious. This is a new uplifting ditty by Hezekiah featuring Bilal. I guess this dude Hezekiah is on Rawkus. From the sound of this song he sounds pretty promising and Bilal as usual smashes it. 1 hundred
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Whats good Folk, last week I hit you with "Whats on my mind" and I got a good response. So I am going to make it a weekly drop. This past week was hectic early on and then slowed down on Sunday. I had time to catch up on Entourage, I had missed it the past 3 weeks-dvr saves lives-(wow was the furry banging hilarious).
So KG looks like he is going to Boston, I hate Boston fans like I hate gum under my shoes. They are mad annoying, but this will be a good look for the NBA if Boston can be relevant again. If you run out a lineup with KG, Paul Pierce, Manute Bol and the Popcorn guy I am pretty sure Boston can win the east.......
Shout out to my boy Big Pun(he is next on the celebrity look-a-like drops) he turned 22 last monday and came over to the bar I was at and he sat next to Fabe Dogg and I. We met two chicks and they started drinking with us. He ended boning one of them good for him.....
Pick up Common's Finding Forever and Keith Murrays Rap-Mur-Phobia this week, good hip-hop is still being released...I heard Rock The Bells in New York was cracking, whatever I wasn't there so I dont really give a fock.... Rock the Bells is coming to Diego Next Month not the same lineup but it should still crack if the WU is headlining, I am probably going to go to that and the White Stripes who are coming in September, If you dont feel the White Stripes then you probably aint hip-hop........
Jose Canseco said he has something on A-Rod and its going in his next book. I am all for telling the truth and think the stop snitching ish was ridiculous but when you are focking with someones livelihood that is taking it too far.... Remember when Jose was the shit, 40/40, Bash Brothers, Focking Madonna. Damn this dude fell off and he fell off hard, No Dennis Rodman and or Surreal Life ...............
Shirts against the Blouses ......if you need a laugh go here ...... Also Monique sit your ass down, tired no comedy having ass heffa. Nothing to do with your overt fatness( I do find your underarms slightly hilarious though), I just dont find you funny and whomever does needs their Funny Bone checked out by Negroedamus.. Ohh I see you too Nick Cannon you are teetering on absolute wackness, no amount of funny in your shtick dude..... If ya'll want to see funny check for Paul Mooney one of the best to ever do it! and if you dont find him hilarious feel free to revoke my comedy pass.
Shout out to BudLight, Oral-b, Durex, Viagra, Polo, Red Dixie Cups, Kirkland Water, Over priced Gasoline, Coco Butter, bouncing balls that cost a quarter, Chico Sticks .. All these products I use or have used, just thought I should mention....
Shout out to M.A.D.D. they are doing something worth mentioning..
Yo if you like to watch TV naked and lay in your bed and do sit-ups, just know that you are not alone....
Shout out to Faggot ass Chauncie from Menace 2 Society, he made snitching seem like it was the right thing to do..... I see you Cam'Ron damn right this is a hot summer, I stay hearing your name in the streets.....
Lex Lugar according to my boys was the first to body slam Yokozuna, shout out to the Total Package *pause* and my homies who are on some "wiki that shit" whenever somebody says something that nobody co-signs or corroborates............Speaking of wrestling Ric Flair is the GOAT
You wanna send me some free ish holla at me on the Gmail.......for the right amount, I can even make your shit tighter(c)Jigga the Camel ........
Big up all woman of mixed ethnicities if your Mexican half dont want it, maybe your Filipina half will....
David Beckham is in LA and not playing yet but the stadiums have been packed, so therefore money well spent by the Galaxy...
The First 48 is the best show on tv right now....
Gunther now thats a fucked up name, how about Unique thats also a brilliant name ..............
1 hundred and I'll holla next week